Is that a Noodle Strainer?

by Ron Rygelski


Funny story...

This year I was testing out a new Stage 2 Scoop on the
car. Cut a nice hole in my glass GS hood, fabbed a neat airpan with
a foam seal, and riveted the scoop in place. Prety simple stuff.
According to the Kenne Bell catalog, it should be worth 2 tenths and
a couple of mph in the quarter (then again, if you believe everything
in the catalog, my car ought to run in the 2's at 417 mph with all of
the stuff I've bought). Well, the car slowed down, with the mph
being off more than the et. Not running out the backdoor well at
all. I figured perhaps the air was curling around the back of the
scoop, so I stuffed the piece of foam I was using to plug the scoop
while towing back in there to allow the air a direct shot at the
carb. Car picked up a little, running about where it should have
with the flat hood. I'm qualified for Super in the #16 slot, and
with the DeHabey's wrenching on their busted 7 second entry, an extra
couple of tenths to move me up in the standings sure would have been
nice. So I'm sitting on the wall in the circle track brooding, and I
mention my troubles to Bruce Wilson. He says: "Put a screen under
the scoop.", and points to the open hood on B-Quick. I take a
look. "What the hell is dat?? It looks like some sort of noodle
strainer!!" I question, pointing at what appears to be a cooking
utensil tacked under the snorkle scoop. "That's an air diffuser."
says Wilson, taking some offense. "That's one of those things you
put over a fry pan to keep the grease from splashing." I say,
continuing to chastise him for using cookware in leiu of speed
parts. "Well, now it's an air diffuser." he says, closing the hood
to ward off any further attacks. I make a mental note to add "Chef's
Outlet" to the list of parts catalogs I regularly receive.

More passes reveal that the problem is in fact that fuel is
being siphoned out of the boosters at high speed as a result of the
turbulent air whirling around the carb (evidenced by the fuel residue
splashed across the top of the carb). What's needed is something to
calm the air down and straighten it before it enters the carb.
An "air diffuser" of sorts. I know just where I can get such a

Upon returning from BG I hurry over to Lecter's (cooking stuff
store) in search of speed parts that may unlock enough horsepower to
qualify at Bristol. "Where do you keep the air diffusers--er fry pan
covers?" I ask the young lady at the counter. "Three rows back." she
replies, and I head off in that direction. I find that they've got
about ten to choose from. I figure go with the one with the most
airflow potential, but to my disappointment could not find a cfm
rating on any of them. So I grab one in each hand like a pair of
tennis rackets and begin flailing them back and forth to see which
one has the least amount of drag. "Swishhh....Swish....Swooshhhhhh"
as the young lady rounded the corner, deftly ducking under a backhand
swing. She continues on her way, and I can overhear the conversation
she's having with the manager: "There's some weird guy playing with
the stuff in the store, and he almost knocked me over....". Hmmm. I
had better get out of here. I don't want to be around any weird
people, and this fellow sounds like he might be dangerous. I pick
the best one (a 13" Cooks Club model) and $9.95 later I'm in business.

Back at the Batcave, I quickly cut the handle off and epoxied
the thing to the top of the hood, directly under the Stage 2 scoop.
I reasoned "It doesn't look toooo bad...", but that little voice in
my head was telling me "it looks ridiculous, take it off and forget
this ever happened." Well, there are few things in life that are
forever, but a couple of them are marriage, divorce, death, and
Devcon. The air diffuser stays, like it or not. I load the car and
head out to Quaker City for Test and Tune. Judgement day.

     So, I get to the track, unload, BS with Renee, Denny, and Bill 
Wills awhile, and head over to tech.  I'm not in the tech line for 
two minutes before some Super Gas racer comes over and says: "Say, is 
that a fry pan cover you've got stuck to the hood?"
     Me:  "No." (with all the indignance I could muster)
     Super Gas Guy: "Well, then what the hell is it??"
     Me: "It's a Laminar Airflow Diffuser Disk--the absolute latest 
          in Pro Stock technology."
     Super Gas Guy: "Looks like a fry pan cover...."
     Me: "Warren Johnson has the exact same thing under the scoop of 
           the AC Delco Firebird."
     Super Gas Guy: "My wife has the exact same thing in the kitchen."
     Me: "Really....what Pro Stock team does she drive for?????"
     The guy finally wandered off, and after tech the first and only 
pass of the night resulted in the car's best et. and mph ever at that 
track.  Looks like the screen picked it up by about .15 sec and 1 
mph, which is about what I expected out of the scoop in the first 
place.  Plus, it keeps rocks, birds, and wayward Chevrolet parts out 
of the carb.  And, if we get hungry I can use my hood to make soup.  
Life is good.  See you in the lanes!
Ron and L.J. Rygelski
Performance Products-Red Line Synthetic Oil
Ron's Email