You Might Drive a Buick If . . .

*Race prepping your car means turning off the ac.
*You have a "Big is Beautiful" license plate holder.
*You have safety harnesses instead of seat belts for five occupants.
*You only have to be careful of traffic AHEAD of you when you merge onto the Interstate
*Your race car has never been on a trailer.
*You think anything less than a 455 is a small block.
*You won't race motorcycles beacuse it isn't fair . . . to them!
*You've ever had to take a different route because of bridge weight limits.
*You plan road trips from gas station to gas station.
*Your wife's car runs 12s.
*You painted your riding lawnmower black and turbocharged it. 
*You think 5000 pound cars and stationwagons are great dragstrip material.
*The wrecker service calls you when they get their rigs stuck.
*You have heard the phrase "That's a Buick!? from more than 5 punk kids
 in Daddy's 'Vette after you shut them down.
*You have sucked so many bumpers off other cars, your car is nicknamed "The Hoover."
*18 wheelers yield to you.
*You can fit a month of groceries in your trunk and still run 12s.
*You've ever been pulled over for failing to stop at a weigh station.
*Your car has more towing capacity than a one ton duelie.
*You think every race car should have ac and power windows.
*You get signed thank you cards from the presidents of Phillips 66 and Texaco at Christmas.
*You think every four door should have a cam, headers and slicks and runs 12s.
*The phrase "231? Is that all?" and "That ain't no V6!" make the hair on the back
 of your neck stand up.
*You've said "No, it's not an SS" more than 3 times this week.
*You've never seen the tail lights of a Mustang GT.
*Your friend's 5.0 'Stang runs 13s by being towed behind your car.
*The local Mustang guys are claiming they've been abused because your 
 car spanks them so bad.
*You've raced your daily driver against a tube frame, blown, nitroused big
 block powered 'Stang . . . and won.

By Jason Green, Oklahoma